There’s something that’s driving me quietly crazy. Occasionally, it drives me not so quietly crazy, and I find myself raging at the radio, the TV, and once (if I recall correctly), even the newspaper. I regularly rant to my long-suffering husband, and friend Peony. I think it is a sign of the decline of civilisation, and it distresses me. At first I thought it was a kiwi thing, and that was bad enough. I was ashamed, and embarrassed, that we were the beginning of this decline. But no. I’m aware it has spread beyond these shores, and that the UK and US are also infected, though it is impossible for me to say how extensively. Was NZ the start of this epidemic, or are we just a stop on the way down?
Yes, I’m probably over-reacting, but it is very frustrating to see something that is so wrong, and not to be able to do anything about it. And now, its momentum is too strong, and the cause is lost. I realised that at Christmas. There were examples daily. I wanted to hide in a cave and pretend it wasn’t happening, screaming “la la la la la” to block it all out. I recognised again the truth that the words “too late” are the saddest words in the world.
What is this catastrophe, you might ask? It is the loss of the truncated plural (my label). I hear, too often, someone saying “there’s” when they should be saying “there are” or “there’re.” At first it was just people commenting generally. But the day I heard a BBC report use “there’s” I shuddered, sensing that this was bigger than I had suspected, even in my worst nightmares. And then Tom Hanks, as Woody, said in Toy Story 3, “there’s toys up there.” I sobbed.
At Christmas, I regularly heard advertisements on the radio and TV. “There’s gifts for everyone!” blared the TV, imploring us to shop at shop X or shop Y. Ironically, one of the businesses that committed this faux pas was our largest chain of book and stationery stores. The ads must have been scripted, and handed to an actor/voice-over-artist to read. Didn’t they use the spell-checker? Mine is yelling at me now (well, as much as a green squiggly underline can yell) that “there’s gifts” is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
And the worst thing is that this infection is so pervasive I fear I might have said it myself. I know I’m not a grammar expert. So I can’t confirm that I have said it, but I can’t confirm that I haven’t. And I know what that means. There’s no hope for us. It’s too damn late.
There’s no hope for the BBC now they have begun to routinely use “less” when they should use “fewer”.
Sigh. That’s another of my pet hates!
Sometimes I say it on purpose. Sometimes I say a lot of things that are wrong on purpose. (I wonder how many I don’t say on purpose?) I think I do it to be sardonic or folksy or funny or something.
One that I hate hearing on the news is “centered around.”
At least you do it on purpose. I say “ain’t no” sometimes for the same reasons.
As someone whose (or should I say “who’s”) approach to grammar is hit and miss and whose vocabulary centres around words like “verbiose,” (or should that comma be outside the closing quotation mark, if that’s what the ” ” ” is called, and should it be a single line like this ” ‘ ” (or is it this ‘ ‘ ‘?) ), I give a standing ovation to the decline of civiliZation.
Helen – I certainly don’t pretend to be a grammar expert. I leave that to IB. By the way, I’m sure you didn’t realise it, but you spelled civilisation wrong.
Ah Helen.
I catch myself saying it, but always in a hurry, like I don’t know for sure whether the next word will be plural or singular. I make mistakes with verb tenses and irregulars when I’m in a hurry, too. But people on the news aren’t in a hurry.
The two that bug me (besides less and fewer, frankly) are “the data is clear” instead of “the data are clear” since data is a PLURAL (a quick google search tells me that the Guardian has decided that using it as a plural is too fussy, and this morning on NPR a correspondent said it as a singular), and one that isn’t grammar in nature, but simply stupid words: “going forward.” As in, “We will have to watch that going forward” or “On a going forward basis”. AS IF we have to rule out time travel. We’re all going forward. Just say “we will have to watch that”.
Also, saying processes and having the last syllable as a long e sound. Gah. This topic. I could go on and on.
Going forward. I hate THAT! Especially when people think it isn’t clear, and they say “in the future going forward.” Gah indeed.
My own bugbears are the inaccurate use of apostrophes and the incorrect use of “and me” and “and I”. When I found myself correcting grammar out loud while watching television I realise that I may be well on the way to being a crazy old cat woman…
Join the club (though I don’t have any cats anymore but I think I still qualify)! I try to get “and me” and “and I” right, but I’m probably wrong half of the time.
Sorry Mali, I didn’t realiZe that…
I KNEW you’d say that!
Not a crazy cat woman, but I have a small dog who may put me in the same club. I agree with all of the above, and especially can’t understand why people don’t get “me” and “I” right. The hair on the back of my neck goes up when people say “these ones”, but I know that’s a losing battle. I can’t get my own son to change, how can I hope to correct the rest of the world?
B’s data is/are reminds me of this: Yoga instructors are always saying “one vertebrae at a time”! I have one DVD on which the instructor actually says “one vertebra.” I want to kiss her.
Crap. I didn’t ever think that There’s is incorrect. Of course is is.
Ugh, I used to work as a copy editor at my college newspaper and then as an editorial assistant at a book publisher. I know my grammar isn’t as perfect as it used to be, but MAN it drives me nuts when people make really simple mistakes. I feel I see typos everywhere I go. It is frustrating.