This week is National Infertility Awareness Week in the US. It doesn’t seem to be recognised here in New Zealand, which is a pity. The theme this year is “Don’t ignore …” And so I had been considering posting about my infertility here, on my everyday blog, conscious that – by and large – I do ignore it in this space. Yet that’s exactly what I complain about over on my life after infertility blog. A small case of “do what I say, not what I do.” Sigh. Guilty as charged.
I had drafted up something, but wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. The thing is, our infertility is ignored – by my husband and I, most of my friends, my family. This can be explained because I have been quite private about it (yes I know, at the same time writing about it all over the internet so hundreds if not thousands can read some of my most private thoughts), because I’m now of the age where having kids isn’t really an option, and because we’ve been (just) a couple for so long, there doesn’t seem anything strange about us not having kids. So talking about the subject where friends and family will see it is far scarier than talking about it with friends I’ve met on-line, who have always known this part of me. Hence my procrastination about writing anything; an explanation for why my No Kidding blog has never been linked here. That fear of judgement and horror of pity is hard to shake.
Then I got an email. Go to sleep, and wake up to find that I am published on The Huffington Post. Under my REAL NAME! Argh! Talk about coming out big-time. And I linked to it on Facebook. (Because, I mean, it’s The Huffington Post – why wouldn’t I?) Argh again!
My piece was originally posted under “The Secret to Happiness is …” headline – quite different from the “Did I grieve enough?” headline used by The Huffington Post. Still, I’m not complaining! You can read it here.
Note: I’m too scared to read it in case there are dreadful errors and I sound ridiculous!