“Wait,” you say. “Didn’t you recently write about this?” Yes, yes I did. Here, in fact. Sadly, though, that post was based on the “where would I live if I won the lottery?” concept.
Maybe writing that post got me thinking again. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re hoping to get some offers on the in-laws’ house and so can see the end of our responsibilities here in this city. Maybe it’s the fact that vaccinations are rolling out all over the world, and we can start to see the end of this pandemic. Maybe, in cleaning up a house that the in-laws had lived in since 1962, I have realised that it would be manageable to clean things up here too, and be able to move on if we wanted. But for whatever reason, I got thinking about why we live where we live, and where would we like to live in our early, active years of retirement.
There are negatives to living in Wellington. The weather is a big one. So is being on a major fault-line. (Recent earthquakes off the northeast of the North Island were felt here, but didn’t cause any damage except to my nerves.) And the fact that we’ve lived here since 1993 when we returned from Thailand, so maybe it’s time for a change. But there are a lot of positives too. Our friends are here. (Not having children to help or support us when we’re old, friendships will be important for our emotional well-being.) The city has all the services we’ll need when we are old. It’s a vibrant little city, although we don’t always make full use of that vibrancy, I like knowing it’s there. And it’s an attractive city too. I like having a view.
I’ve realised that we need to sit down and make a list of what is important to us, and how important those things are, to help us make a decision about where to live. I like processes, and feeling I’ve considered all sides of an issue, even if emotions win out. But it’ll be hard getting The Husband to focus. Decisive in some ways, when it comes to big decisions, inertia might win out with him. But that’s what happened to his parents, and I don’t want to be like them! I suspect that I already know what I want, and what I’ve often said I wanted. I want the best of all worlds. Isn’t that always the case? I like rural settings, being surrounded by nature, and would love a place in the country. But I don’t really want to give up city life either. A place in both would be ideal. Maybe I’m the indecisive one?!
A tough subject. Glad you are broaching it with yourself and also your husband. HArd to guess what sort of time frame you may be looking at so do give thought to the issues of possible disabilities and needs for medical assistance. For some that starts in the late 60’s or 70’s but it becomes quite real in the 80’s. And often with no warnings. But if you want changes now IS the time to make them.
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Yes. At this stage, I’m thinking for our “early, active years of retirement” which might only be the next ten years if we’re lucky. Having watched my parents and in-laws age, I agree we need to be well settled somewhere accessible and with good medical services by our mid-70s.
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A few years into our marriage, when we were living in midtown Manhattan, my husband and I bought a little house in the country for weekends. I’m just sayin’ . . . 🙂
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Yes. If only. Maybe I need to start looking at real estate sites! lol
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Yes, inertia — I understand that well. We’re not thinking of moving, but know that our house is not ideal if one of us cannot use the stairs.
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That’s the problem with our current house. It was difficult when I broke my ankle, but would be impossible when I’m elderly with bad knees!
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Haha are you me? I have a lot of the same thoughts, but Mr is a home body and his family are all close by (and he is close to them and likes being close physically to them)…so not sure he’d ever agreed to change!
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The thing for us is that we don’t have any family living here.
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Yeah that can be tough. My family aren’t likely to provide any support (more the expectation I’ll support them) so I don’t feel the need to be near them. But moving away from friends is now a challenge since I’ve been here longer than I expected to be!
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Exactly!
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Inertia is probably why we spent 26 years in our house! Granted, it was a great location while we were still working (convenient to transit), but I know dh never really liked it there, and was pretty tired of house maintenance (mowing that big backyard that never got used, shovelling snow in the winter…). I (still, after five years!) am not especially fond of the community where we moved, closer to BIL & family, but I have to admit, condo living does have its advantages!
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I wish we had more condos (we just call them apartments) in Wellington! Ones that are not
“earthquake prone,” that is. (It’s a thing.)
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This sounds like a MAJOR decision, Mali. I don’t blame your husband (or you?) for being indecisive about something so life changing. I won’t give any advice, other than to recommend that you not move to the community featured in this documentary: https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/some-kind-of-heaven-movie-review-2021.
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I’m laughing now. No, I do not think that would be for us!
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