It’s all too much!

I like difficult stories – whether that is for reading, TV shows, radio listening, or movies. Ones that make me have to think, figure out who is the bad person, or even better, the dilemmas when morals aren’t absolute, are well worth spending time reading or watching or listening. I feel as if I’m not wasting time in front of a screen. But lately, I’m becoming overwhelmed. That’s because everything I’m watching or reading seems to be about people abusing power, whether it is the police, teachers, doctors, or Mr Bates’ damn British Post Office. Throw in the occasional billionaire or alien. Last year’s Booker Prize Winner, Prophet Song, has the whole Irish government turning power mad. People falsely accused abound, and I feel for them deeply. That is one of my worst nightmares. (I think it stems from seeing something when I was a child about a woman thrown into an asylum, when she was sane, but no-one believed her!) Even without all the specific power abuse, there’s everyday sexism or racism that drives me crazy. I go to entertainment to take me away from the horrors of world politics, and then my entertainment becomes too much for me!

So I take refuge in exercise, in nature, in cooking for friends, in music, in projects, in travel planning. Or I put the “worthy” book aside for a while, and deliberately read something short and light and frivolous. If I’m watching something tough, I want to read something lighter, and vice versa. But sometimes I just need some comfort reading/watching too – something that makes me feel good, or cry (in a good way), or makes me laugh, or is just mindless entertainment that takes me away from stressful things. My comfort watches include reruns of Friends, Bridgerton, The Good Place, the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice from the 1990s, and The Extraordinary Attorney Woo. That and UK medical soaps, and Midsomer Murders (which is on permanent repeat on our cable TV)! I need to find some new ones though. Comfort reads include Terry Pratchett, some sci-fi or fantasy series, Outlander, or just lighter or interesting reads that aren’t about power or horrible people. I’m currently listening to Hannah Gadsby read Ten Steps to Nanette on audiobook. She’s confronting at times, talking about the realities of life in small town Tasmania, but she’s wonderful too.

I still enjoy these difficult works of art/forms of entertainment. I like things that make me think. But right now I need a break. Do you find this too? And what are your escapes?

Pictures of my week

We have had several gorgeous days that have seen us enjoying coastal views and a picnic, coffee in the city, wondering at sea swimmers when it is April already, walking around our hills, and just enjoying being in our place.

A trip to the west coast just north of Wellington for a picnic lunch:

The view from my walk around my neighbourhood yesterday:

The inner bay this morning:

Finding Beauty

A while ago, a blogger friend (I can’t remember who it was now – apologies to the person who inspired me) reminded me how important it is to enjoy beauty, wherever we find it. It’s taken some time to get to this post, but I haven’t forgotten the message. Finding beauty in the everyday brings me great joy. Here are some things I recently found beautiful:

• My redesigned engagement ring that is now a pendant
• New ear-rings bought for me by my husband, for my recent wedding anniversary
• A tui in our trees or on our fence
• The perfect red of a punnet of cherry tomatoes
• My blue-and-white porcelain lamps (bought in Thailand over thirty years ago)
• The sun playing on the different angles in our house
• My screensaver photos – a view of Queenstown; another view of a valley framed with flowers in Switzerland the day the cows came down from the mountains; Lake Bled in Slovenia, a tree-lined Polish road in autumn, a temple in Bangkok, and dozens more.
• The sculptural shapes of our cabbage trees caught in the evening light
• The moon shining between the branches of our oak tree
• A colourful sunset
• A bright, sparkling, cloudless day after a gloomy weekend (earlier today), and
• The beautiful contrast of dramatic dark clouds coming in from the south (now).

Autumn: The season of complicated emotions

The arrival of autumn is often a shock to the system, not so much because it is a surprise, but because I had been hoping that summer would hang on just a little longer. That’s when I have complicated emotions about where I live, a lost summer, and not travelling in NZ enough to really enjoy summer. It’s the season when we look at projects we wanted to do, and see them unfinished, or worse, even unstarted! It’s the season when we realise that the year is one quarter over already, and yet New Year’s only seems as if it were yesterday. But once I have managed to reconcile those feelings, there are more things I love about autumn. I’ve written about them before (and there may be some repetition), but here are five favourites:

• Seeing the changing colours. We don’t get a lot here in evergreen Wellington, but there are plenty of deciduous trees in gardens, and as their leaves turn, we get to enjoy the changing beauty of nature. Today we were driving down the street, and a single orange leaf was floating straight towards us, reminding us of the season.
• It’s a gorgeous season in my house. Our house looks so good when the sun streams in; it brings light to all the rooms, and the rimu wood floors and ceilings glow a glorious warm golden hue. In summer, we end up having curtains and blinds closed on the western side of the house, as it heats up too quickly, too much, and we have no way to cool the house afterwards. So we try to avoid getting heat in. But at this time of year, when it is chilly outside (as it has been the last week or so), welcoming the sun in feels happy and joyous.
• Sleeping is so much more comfortable. We have a heavier cover, the light is a little later (though not quite so much after daylight saving ended), and it’s colder in the mornings, so snuggling in bed is just lovely!
• Exercise is easier. I don’t have to worry too much about sunscreen when I go on my walks around the neighbourhood hills. Likewise, it’s cool enough to wear some kind of jacket with pockets, meaning I can easily carry my phone (important for my audiobooks/music etc), keys, tissues etc. (I have a good portable snap-on pocket holder for the summer, but my new phone doesn’t quite fit.) And the weather is calmer too, and I’m more likely to exercise outside. (I hate walking in the wind for various reasons.)
• Apples and spices are perfect at this time of year – some of my favourite flavours.

A productive afternoon

I have an ottoman. We bought it years ago, very cheaply, and it has been the perfect size and shape for our living room furniture. But sun and age battered the cover, which cracked, split and tore over the last year. I was unwilling to spend hundreds of dollars to buy a replacement. So, in a fit of ambition, I trotted off to the fabric store, and found some upholstery fabric I thought might be fun. I bought some extra padding too, and after several weeks delay, finally began putting it together.

Precision was required for a smooth fit, so I had to pay attention to measurements, ensure the circle for the top was indeed circular, and meticulously match the patterns together – my fabric wasn’t wide enough to go around the ottoman base in one length (width?). As I did that last part on the floor, it took a toll on my knees and back, and I needed a break. But by yesterday, I knew I had to get it finished.

It was a gorgeous day. I fully intended going on a walk, but was more determined to finish the project first. I opened the window, listened to the tui serenading me all afternoon, turned on Stephen Fry’s seemingly endless (but also endlessly amusing) audiobook of Mythos, and set to work. Pinning, tacking, then finally sewing the various seams took time, measuring each time, checking and checking again that it will fit without wrinkles and lumps and twists. I even had to figure out how to do buttonholes again – my sewing machine, bought at university back in the 1980s, seems to have lost its buttonhole programming, but otherwise works well – so when I reattached the feet on the bottom they wouldn’t tear the fabric. But I got it done. And it fits. The satisfaction of a good afternoon’s work.

My tuneful tui visitor