Usually, New Zealanders get irritated when we are ignored. It is common when overseas to have to explain to people where our country is in the world. And for goodness sake, New Zealand is often even dropped off world maps. But this week, we’d far prefer to revert to our more familiar incognito status.
The common theme in the media here is shock. It’s the first word almost anyone uses. I’m not so surprised, though, that this happened somewhere in the world, given events in recent years. Given international travel, social media, media agencies that irresponsibly support extremist attitudes, changing rhetoric, and right-wing moves, there is nowhere now that is truly immune from that. Not even here. But with a progressive government, and a diverse and accepting society, until now we have always felt safe in New Zealand. (Well, except for natural disasters.)
For me though, I almost instantly reacted with anger. Anger that Christchurch, such a beautiful city, a city where I lived for five years during my university years, where I met my husband, and where I visited just a few weeks ago, should go through another major trauma when it is still recovering from the devastating earthquakes only eight years ago.
I was and am angry that a person or small group of people could be so cold and calculated. Anger that they could betray our country, betray our promise to those who were targeted that they would be safe and accepted here.
I was angry at the NRA (which extends its influence beyond just the US) and other weapons peddlers. There is a gun shop – the first I can ever remember seeing in our city – that opened about ten minutes away a few years ago. Almost every time I have driven past it I have resented its existence. It has never seemed to fit this city, this country. But on Friday afternoon and over the weekend, I felt overwhelming anger at it, its owners and staff.
And then, as we learned the shooter was Australian, there was even more anger at him. Anger that he would bring his toxic hate to our country, harm our citizens, ruin our reputation. And anger at their government’s policies over decades (centuries really), at their recent treatment of Muslim refugees, and the outrageous rhetoric of other politicians there that have legitimised this hate. And I’ve been angry at some of the people I know there who have supported some of these policies, and some of these attitudes.
And then we learned of his “manifesto” of hate, and of his admiration of Trump’s approval of white supremacist movements, and my anger surged anew. Anger at the language the US President used only hours later that echoed those of the shooter. Anger at those who apologise for Trump, but still support him and the racism he incites. Anger at those who may not apologise for him, but still support him openly whilst decrying any responsibility for the acceptance of this hate. Anger at those hypocrites who expressed their sadness in the media or online, and those who had the gall to accept condolences, whilst refusing to denounce his comments, his white supremacist supporters and his policies. Their silence, their hypocrisy, makes them complicit. And so I am angry at them too.
Social media is flooded with images, new profile overlays declaring love, strength, and echoing our Prime Minister’s words that “They are Us.” People share drawings of kiwis crying. I haven’t used any of these. It’s not really my style. And whilst I have appreciated my overseas friends who have done so to show solidarity, or who have sent messages, these actions don’t feel significant enough for me to encompass the depth of my feelings. They don’t express my disgust, my grief, my anger. And so I have abstained.
I don’t usually write posts such as this either. But I feel now, more strongly than I ever have, that silence is inappropriate, it is acceptance, it is collusion, it is complicit. So if you’re reading this, and you recognise yourself in my earlier paragraphs, know that I see through you too.
And if you have been one of those who sends love and support and is equally horrified and angry, know that we are strong, we are decent, and we are full of love. That’s what we have seen throughout New Zealand, and – mostly – around the world, since Friday’s events. I’m proud of that. I’m proud of the way we have responded. I am proud that this has not been politicised here. I’m proud of our Prime Minister, who has been articulate and compassionate and decisive. And as my anger abates, exhausted, I am deeply saddened that it has been necessary.
Thank you for this. One friend who posted your PM’s speech said, “Now THIS is what leadership looks like.” I’m angry that so many of us in this country have been angry for so long that it’s exhausted us, and that is helping no one, and it’s no doubt part of the plan. I’m grateful for great, thoughtful writers like you.
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IB said it better than I can this morning. I just want to add that New Zealand’s reputation is far from ruined. If anything, it’s strengthened.
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PS: Another friend from New Zealand said the sun has set on his beloved Christchurch. I told him the sun will rise again, even if your strong Prime Minister has to haul it up herself.
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I’m exhausted at the hatred spewing forth from these right wing, white supremacists and I’m struggling to comprehend their desire, their rhetoric to cause division and sow their seeds of hate.
However, despite the harrowing events in Christchurch I’m also touched by the kindness of strangers, the genuine warmth and collective compassion I’ve witnessed of the decent New Zealander’s.
That’s what I’d prefer to dwell on, not the hateful and insipid ants who thrive on sowing division and hatred. I see them too; Brexit has given them a purpose here to crawl out of the woodwork…
We love Kiwis and we know they are the most kindest, empathic, peace loving people. We’d never allow those who do such despicable things tarnish the shine from the genuine folk.
Totally understand about the not sharing of certain pictures either, that’s not my style too…
You are loved… your fellow countrymen are too xxx
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Well said, Mali. ❤ Our two countries have so much in common, and we've sadly had our own brushes with terrorism and gun violence in recent years. I can relate to your anger, and your feelings of shock. It seems like no place is safe these days, unfortunately. 😦 But I think you can be very proud of your people & leaders for how they are reacting to this. This is what leadership looks like!
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Very well said, Mali. I find that it’s so difficult not to become overwhelmed and not to fall into an attitude of powerlessness in the face of such violence. Sending you lots of Canadian hugs.
And I’m not trying to be argumentative or confrontational or to detract from the New Zealand government’s or public’s response in any way, but this is an interesting interview that aired on Sunday on our public radio: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thesundayedition/the-sunday-edition-for-march-17-2019-1.5048483/new-zealand-has-been-naïve-about-right-wing-extremism-says-researcher-1.5058345
P.S. I love Susan’s P.S.
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I disagree with the commenter that NZ is naive about racism here. Or elsewhere. I think maybe he’s being maybe a little self-congratulatory and self-promoting. But as a result of this ghastliness, there is a national conversation starting, and that in itself is very important.
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Oh, Mali — what a horror. And I am with you with the anger. I could hear the disbelief in your PM’s voice that this could happen in your country, that this violence is not what New Zealand is about, and that LAWS WILL CHANGE. It was compassionate and strong, something we miss here in the U.S. I heard a piece on NPR where there were gun shop owners that were choosing to proactively not sell AR15s and/or the magazines, even though they are not yet illegal, because they don’t want to be the one to provide a gun like that to someone who would use it in that manner. It gave me a little hope that human decency can win out. I am angry for you, and angry that the perpetrators TRAVELED to your beautiful country to murder people in the most vulnerable of positions, out of hate. And embarrassed that one of the influences was leadership in my country and the rhetoric that is spewed all the time, so much so that it (almost) ceases to be shocking because it’s just another soundbite. Which is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
I hope for you healing — of your heart, of your country, of the families of those murdered in such a cruel way. I hope that this hatred and violence is not a spreading pestilence.
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I’m kind of too angry to form coherent thoughts about these people. 😡
But I’m glad that your Prime Minister has been such a shining example of leadership – we haven’t had a lot of that lately. And I love all the hakas that have been danced – seems like New Zealand will not be accepting the import of hatred that has been attempted.
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When I saw the news of the shooting, I thought of you. It is absolutely anger-inducing and horrible that this has happened and you’ve said everything so well here.
I’m embarrassed and angry that my nation is exporting this kind of horror and hatred and so very sorry that New Zealand has suffered such a terrible tragedy. You deserve to be proud of the response of your nation and government.
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Thank you for your anger – there are times for screaming into the darkness. Like IB, I’m exhausted two years into Trump’s world. I’m used to getting the daily atrocity dose in the news, but this terrorist attack left me adrift. Not your lovely country; it couldn’t happen there. But with your anger, your kick-ass Prime Minister, your amazingly kind Kiwis, your fierce warrior spirits – if we must get through this racist nightmare, then New Zealand is well armed.
I somehow had no idea that the NRA was active outside of the US (I can be incredibly naïve) – other than it being an international funnel for Russian money and influence here. Talk about exporting terrorism! God damn hydra creature – I hope your people manage to burn it out of your country.
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You might be amused at this. A former Police Minister said she told the NRA to “bugger off!”
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-shooting/111484260/judith-collins-tells-nra-to-bugger-off-over-new-zealand-gun-reform
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You’ve been in my thoughts since I heard the news. Anger, yes, and sorrow, and pride that a country like yours exists on this sad earth, and admiration for your magnificent prime minister (wish we had someone one-tenth of her stature here).
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